Lay It Down by Jaci Velasquez

I’ve been looking ‘til my eyes are tired of looking

Listening ‘til my ears are numb from listening

Praying ‘til my knees are sore from kneeling

On the bedroom floor
I know that You know that my heart is aching

I’m running out of tears and my will is breaking

I don’t think that I can carry

The burden of it anymore
All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans

Are slowly slipping through my folded hands

Chorus

So I’m gonna lay it down

I’m gonna learn to trust You now

What else can I do

Everything I am depends on You

And if the sun don’t come back up

I know Your love will be enough

I’m gonna let it be, I’m gonna let it go

I’m gonna lay it down

I’ve been walking through this world like I’m barely living

Buried in the doubt of this hole I’ve been digging

But You’re pulling me out and I’m finally breathing

In the open air
This room may be dark but I’m finally seeing

There’s a new ray of hope and now I’m believing

That the past is the past and the future’s beginning to look brighter now
‘Cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans

Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands

Chorus

So I’m gonna lay it down

I’m gonna learn to trust You now

What else can I do

Everything I am depends on You

And if the sun don’t come back up

I know Your love will be enough

I’m gonna let it be, I’m gonna let it go

I’m gonna lay it down

I have no eloquent words to describe what the Lord has been doing in my heart over the past few weeks. The song above summarizes my feelings best. For so long I've felt like I've been running into a brick wall, unable to figure out what the Lord wants for my life and unable to see what the Holy Spirit wants to reveal to me. And finally I feel like my eyes have been opened and I am seeing that I have been stubbornly holding on to my life, my goals, my desires. Sure, they are all good goals, good desires, good "life plans" to achieve, but they are mine, not God's. I don't think I have ever been able to fully surrender my life to the Lord and fully allow him to make me and mold me into what He wants me to be. I've always carried the burden that I need to figure it all out. I need to figure out the christian life, to figure out how to be the best parent, figure out how to be the best wife, best friend, best daughter, etc. The fact is that I am no one without the Lord. I can not figure out anything on my own. Only He can shape me and mold me into His image. I can't try to conform to it, I can't try to attain it on my own merrit. I have to surrender my life to him, I have to become weak, I have to admit that I am nothing without Him. What a simple concept that I have "known" for years, but have never understood until now. What an awesome, patient, loving God I serve.

Ephesians 2:8-10 ~ "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God has prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

Proverbs 3:5-6 ~ "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

Isn't it funny how sometimes we can have a piece of scripture memorized and studied for years and then one day have something completely new revealed to us that we never saw before? Isn't God's Word awesome? Amen!