A little mommy in waiting.

New Habits

A week or so ago Money Saving Mom advertised on her site about a free e-book, Smooth and Easy Days by Sonja Shafer. I was intrigued so I clicked on the link and downloaded the book. It's 47 pages and it is FULL of wonderful encouragement and information on cultivating good habits in your child. I was so inspired by it I went ahead and ordered Laying Down the Rails by the same author. I'm only a few pages into it but I'm already beginning to apply the lessons I have learned so far. The concept it simple. Pick one habit that you'd like to see instilled in your child and work on that one thing for six to eight weeks and then move on to the next, while keeping an eye on the habit just formed. Instead of getting upset that our children just don't pick up after themselves or leave the bed messy or leave their coat/shoes scattered all over the floor, work on cultivating the good habit one at a time. It also addresses why nagging doesn't work, which I found very insightful. The author points out that nagging just teaches children to do a task only when mom asks. She uses this example :

"Let’s say that you’re trying to teach your child to hang up her coat when she takes it off. In order to make that action a habit, she
needs to repeatedly and consciously think through the hang-upmy-
coat-when-I-take-it-off neuron route.
Now, let’s say you come into the room and trip over her coat.
The easiest thing to do is to call her into the room and say, “I’ve
told you before, hang up your coat when you take it off!” She
obediently picks it up and hangs it in the closet, but . . . and here’s
the key . . . her brain didn’t initiate the idea, so you just reinforced
the wrong neuron route.
You just reinforced the do-what-mom-says-to-do neuron
route. That’s a completely different route from the one you want
her to mentally travel. And that explains why once we start
nagging, we find that we’re always having to nag in order to make
something happen. We are reinforcing the do-what-mom-says-todo
route, which means the child will constantly wait until mom
says what to do!
So, let’s say you just came into the room and tripped over
your daughter’s coat . . . again. You call your child into the room,
and you say something like this: “I promised I would help you
remember.” That’s all. If she still doesn’t understand, you can
pointedly look at the coat on the floor. Little hints might be needed
at first. But you wait until the mental lightbulb goes off in her head
and that will start those neurons traveling the hang-up-my-coatwhen-
I-take-it-off route. Do you see the difference? She thought
of it. She made the mental effort."

I had never thought of it that way before. That nagging is actually hindering the habit from forming. Wow! All this time I thought that by nagging (although I would rather call it 'helpfully reminding') I was helping and it turns out I've just made more work for myself.

And of course another point brought up in this book was that children learn by example as well so mom needs to be on top of these habits too. SO, taking from this book what I have been learning instead of making a new years goal list (I'm a month behind for that anyway) we're going to be tackling new habits little by little.

For the month of February:

Habits for the kids

~Putting shoes away in the shoe bench upon returning home and hanging up their coats on the coat rack

~Returning an object to it's original location as soon as you are done using it

Habits for mommy

~No more nail bitting (this is the year, I can feel it!)

~Morning prayer before the children wake up, every day

~Morning exercise completed by 730

Organization Challenge

OK, so I am a few days late getting this up, but this month I will be participating in Organizing Junkie's 28 day challenge. We have a room downstairs that has just been out of control since the day we moved in just over 6 months ago and this is just the sort of motivation I need to get moving and get this room organized. Right now it serves multiple purposes and that's the first thing that I will be tackling. In this post, OrgJunkie directed us to a list of questions that you can ask yourself to help organize your space. Number one on the list was: What do I want the purpose of my room or area to be? Right now this room is functioning as play room, guest room, and Samuel's room. We would like it to serve as just a play room/guest room. This month I'll be working on getting Sam into his own room upstairs, which means getting the girls in the same room together. I'll also be tackling the organization in the closet and tackling the toy overflow. Alright, on to the embarrassing before photos:

If you want to join in visit OrgJunkie.

Sarah's not here to make any friends.

Man of my dreams

Oh Sam, you certainly are.

Ode to my Sentra

Well, it's official. Last night we finally sold my Nissan Sentra. This morning my husband drove it to work and handed it over to the woman who purchased it. I have to admit, I was a little teary last night standing in the driveway saying goodbye. I know selling it was for the best, and I know we'll be saving a lot more money this way, and I know that it went to a very respectable new owner. But still, the Sentra represented more than just a vehicle. I bought it in 2002 when I was 19, single and working a steady job. I still remember the feeling when I took it for it's first spin at the dealer. The car drove so smooth, accelerated so fast, I loved it. That car was a piece of me from back before I was married or had children. It represented a time when I worked and brought in my own income, and I purchased that Sentra with my own money. As a wife/mom today I have the greatest job in the world and I certainly wouldn't change that for anything. My job does have it's stresses, especially right now when the children need me constantly. There are times when I feel like the real me, Amy, the me outside of MOM, is getting lost. My Sentra provided an escape. Just to take it for a spin, or run an errand, I would get behind the wheel and it just made me feel like ME again. It's the car I drove when I got engaged and then married. It's the car that took us to Michigan when I was pregnant with Emily, through a blizzard and ice storm. AND the car that took a beating from the relatives for not being American made and that backed all the way down Uncle Jeff's driveway through more than a foot of snow to his amazement (one of my favorite memories!). In fact this car took us to Michigan quite a few times. It's the car that took me to the hospital to deliver our first child. It's the car that took us home from the hospital, a brand new family. I know it might be silly to be so attached to a material thing and to be perfectly honest, I know I'll be over it tomorrow, but that car did mean something to me. It represented more than just a piece of metal. It was a part of me. And I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the knowledge that I've gained from this experience that I never would have understood otherwise. My grandmother passed away a few years ago and she suffered from Alzheimer's. When we used to visit they always had her old Toyota parked in the lot, which who knows how old it was, and I never understood why they kept it because she hadn't been able to drive for years. And she was really particular about it and I remember her being so mad when it was gone. And I understand it now. I get it. It was a piece of her, it represented a time when she brought in an income, it represented who she was before she aged, before she fell and broke her hip, before the disease took over her mind. And I believe she knew in her mind that she really would never drive it again. But as long as that car was there, as long as she could still see that piece of her, I think it helped keep that piece of her alive as well. Funny how a car can be packed with so many memories and so much meaning. So goodbye Sentra, you'll be missed. The young-single-sports car-driving chapter of my life is closed, but the young at spirit-child raising-hubby loving-mini-van-driving chapter of my life is just beginning. What a beautiful journey life is.

I'm Baaaaaack!

Hello bloggy world! I finally decided to come out of hibernation! I can not believe that my last post was 6 months ago when our son Samuel was born. Life certainly was chaotic for a bit and I definitely needed my sole focus to be my family and getting us all back onto a routine. Most of you know we moved into a new home in June of last year, so not only were we adjusting to the addition of our third child, but also adjusting to a new home as well. I feel like things are starting to settle and routine is starting to kick in and I've found that I have a little more free time now than I did just a few months ago. So, here I am. To start out the new year, here are some updated photos of our little ones and new home:

He's here!

Samuel Stewart arrived at 11:07pm on July 16th

weighing in at 7lbs. 7ozs.

and measuring 19 inches long!

Samuel is a remarkably good baby, sleeping during the night for 5 hour shifts some times! He's pretty content throughout the day and it's really made adjusting to three little ones a piece of cake! The girls both absolutely adore him, even Sarah has been so sweet and gentle. It's a wonderful feeling to be a mom of three and it is such a joy to watch the children interact with one another.

And now for the winner of the baby guessing game:

~Kathy was the closest to the time of delivery guessing July 17th at 12am. She also had the inches right on and was the closest on weight. However, she guessed girl on the gender.

~My cousin-in-law Sarah was another contender guessing July 15th at 319am, right on with the inches, right on with gender and close on the weight.

~My Aunt Joan was the last contender guessing July 15th at 515am, right on with gender, and inch off on length, and close on the weight. SO, what I did was write these three ladies names on separate pieces of paper and randomly drew a winner, and the winner is my Aunt Joan. Congrats and good guessing!